On the road: Citroën C4 1.6 Hdi-e

This one arrived with a man! From Citroën, talk me through it. It is nice. He gave me a private little presentation in my front room. It felt a bit naughty, and afterwards I saved a 20 on top of his pants ... not, of course, I do not. Be honest, I was worrying about which mainly root site was.

So told the man from Citroën me of objective profiles, market needs and provide the customer with what the customer wants; for increased comfort levels, bebølighed and the cabin atmosphere. I gave him a cup of tea, and because I am a Flechard coward I said it all so brilliant. There is a lie.

What I mean is that the C4 was previously a much, much more interesting car – a striking and distinctive design in the spirit of the Citroëns reputation for innovation. I am not saying it will be a classic, like a traction Avant or a DS or even a 2CV, but it can be. Replacement? Absolutely no chance.

Through compromise and market needs and listens to what the customer wants and trying to compete with the Ford Focus, they have come up with something that is indescribably dull. It looks like dozens of other cars. It is a Citroën focus. Or possibly a Citroën focus group. Oh, and the fixed hub steering wheel, which remained still in the Middle – gone too.

It is a pity it comes such dull package, because the new car is good. I try the environmentally respectful e-HDi, with an impressive engine stop-start system, which seems to know what I am doing before I do. Clutchless automated manual gearbox is a little weird and takes some getting used to — it's like a ghost change up and down for you. But it all adds up to some impressive fuel economy and emissions production – as low as 109 g/km, although my higher spec navigability out 114 (the extra 5 g would not kill any polar bears, however, is it?).

My "exclusive" model also means I got a lot of toys. I can customize my signal alerts – safety belt warning indicators, all of this. I got a cruise control and speed limiter, both useful and appropriate as I am taking it to Basingstoke for my speeding detention or driver awareness training as they call it (brilliant by the way, recommended). Be honest, there is no real temptation to way in this car. You are more likely to drive round to the parish priest, to tea.

Price £ 21,095
Top speed 122 mph
Acceleration 0-62 mph in 11.2 seconds
Average consumption 62.4 mpg
CO2 emissions 114 g/km
Eco rating 8/10
Bound to A little snoring
In a word Middle-aged

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